Stronger than I was
by silverroseshadow
Summary: Something happens to make Sesshoumaru abandon Rin. An old threat emerges and things happen to bring the two together again. will they be able to defeat this enemy and possibly find love in the process? Rated for mild violence.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Author's note: "This means that the character is talking", and 'This means that they are thinking.' There will be some Japanese words, although they are fairly basic. If you do not know what they are just tell me and I will make sure to add a word bank. Also, since this is my first fic, I would greatly appreciate reviews. Critical Reviews are fine, but please no flames. I don't want to be discouraged, thanks guys .

Chapter 1:

Sesshoumaru. The demon walking in front of Rin was beautiful. He had silky silver hair down to his knees, handsome features, and soul piercing eyes. Those eyes. They seemed to see right through her. Cold, hidden, but sometimes flickering with slight emotion if one had the ability to see it. 'Of course,' Rin thought, 'he also has a well muscled body'. The sudden realization of what she had been thinking hit her, and her face heated with a crimson blush. Rin would not have even known such a thing about her lord had she not accidentally caught him bathing by a hot spring one hot summer night. She could still remember how beautiful he looked bathed in the silver moonlight. Rin sighed. Yes, everything about her Sesshoumaru-sama was perfection. She had always thought so, ever since she first laid her eyes upon him.

Flashback

Rin had been but a child of seven when she first met her lord. She had been walking through the forest collecting berries, when she saw him. At first, she thought him to be some sort of god. However, before her family was killed by bandits, her mother had told her about demons who could take shape as humans. Although she knew him to be a demon, Rin could not help but notice how breathtaking he was. Rin then noticed that he was badly injured, and so tried to help him. He told her that he did not need her help. However, she had been very persistent. She continued to bring him food even though he never ate it. She was even beaten by the village men for stealing. When she came to him, he asked her where she got her bruises. She smiled at him, excited that he would care for her wellbeing. He later brought her back from the dead after she had been killed by wolves. Ever since that incident seven years ago, Rin still had followed her lord and loved him unconditionally with all her heart.

End of Flashback

Sesshoumaru, the great lord of the west, did not fail to notice his companion's slight scent of arousal, nor did he not notice her crimson blush. He thought that perhaps she had been thinking of one of the boys from the village they had visited the previous day. It boiled his blood for Rin to be thinking that way of one of those vile males. It further raged him to think of one of them actually having their way with her. Red was beginning to cloud his vision thinking about it.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin's soft concerned voice interrupted his violent thoughts.

She had watched his usually stoic expression change into pure rage, and became frightened when she saw his eyes turn crimson.

"What is it?" He bit out harsher than he had intended.

"Gomen nasai milord, I did not mean to interrupt your thinking." Rin said with her head bowed.

She was not about to make him more upset than he already was. Sure, she was curious as to what could have caused his sudden rage, but after watching on several occasions what happened to Jaken when he was so foolish as to annoy their lord, she decided against asking him. Yes, her lord had quite the temper.

Sesshoumaru sighed. The girl was quite perplexing. All humans are. He could not understand how she could cause such reactions from him. He remembered that little girl with the side ponytail who first followed him around seven years ago. Already Rin was a young woman. Day by day, year by year he had watched her grow. She grew taller up to his chest, and developed several womanly curves. He had been forced to replace several of her kimonos, up until the one she wore now, a yellow kimono with pink cherry blossoms. Her midnight black hair had now reached her lower back. She now wore her hair freely, and not in the silly side ponytail of her youth. Her childish face was replaced with a more defined one of that of a woman's.

One thing that never changed about her though, was her innocent, carefree, disposition. She still gasped with excitement when she saw a field of flowers in the glistening sunlight, and ran to pick as many as humanly possible. She was well mannered, emotional, as all humans were, and of course still very obedient to him. She was also very beautiful, but he would never sink so low as to have feelings for the human. He simply walked, and she followed. Things would not change.

Rin walked on, silent, behind her lord. Things were alwaysthis way. He would go wherever he pleased and she would blindly follow. She was happy this way, though, and did not even mind the fact that he hardly ever spoke to her. In fact her lord mostly just flat out ignored her. Her only source of entertainment was talking to Jaken. The toad and Rin did not always get along at first, but over the years they had formed some sort of bond between them. The only times they would fight would be to amuse themselves when they had nothing else to do, which was most of the time.

Rin loved AhUn, the two headed dragon who traveled with them. She found great enjoyment in taking him to graze near flower fields. She would just lie in the field, and take in the scent of flowers while being bathed by the sun's warm rays. She would also occasionally fly on AhUn when her lord was in a special hurry to get somewhere. Flying felt wonderful. She loved the feel of the wind whipping her hair in every direction. It made her feel like she was carefree. AhUn had taken a particular liking to her as well. He always protected her when she was in danger. Rin sighed. Of course, there had not been much danger lately. Not that she was really complaining, but life was rather dull.

Yes, her life had become rather uneventful in the past two years, considering the fact that Naraku had been seemingly dormant. Some people even thought he was dead, although the proof was still lacking. In the final battle, Naraku had been defeated and the jewel was destroyed by Kagome. However, Naraku had escaped, and nothing was heard of him since. Rin truly hoped that Naraku did not survive. She could not count how many times he tried to destroy her to get to her lord. Now, everything had been peaceful, and she was still perfectly content to be by her lord's side, no matter how boring is was at times. She would stay by his side forever, just like her childhood wish.

The group's thoughts were suddenly interrupted as a loud crashing noise came from the forest ahead of them. Sesshoumaru had been the first to react. He moved aside just as a sword came crashing toward his head seemingly out of nowhere. Rin was paralyzed with fear at seeing her lord almost get decapitated. The intruder then made himself known. He came to a stop just in front of Sesshoumaru, smirking at him.

"A fine day, is it not Lord Sesshoumaru?" The intruder sneered. Rin looked him over. He looked to be a snake demon, and also very lordly, just like Sesshoumaru-sama. He was tall, and had long dark green hair. He wore an outfit similar to that of Sesshoumaru's except his was black in color. He would have been handsome as well, if it wasn't for his eyes. They just radiated evil, and they frightened her to no end.

"Lord Kiyoshi. What are you doing in my lands?" Sesshoumaru demanded, rather than asked. He could not believe the Lord of the South actually had the nerve to show himself in the Western Lands. He had banished him from his lands about a century ago. The traitor had been partly responsible for the death of Sesshoumaru's father. Sesshoumaru's father had been ambushed in the Southern Lands after he battled Ryuukotsusei. If it weren't for that ambush, he would have never died by the hands of that pathetic human while trying to protect Inu-Yasha's mother. 'I will just have to repay the favor', Sesshoumaru thought menacingly, flexing his claws in anticipation.

"If you must know, I came to claim the Western lands for myself." The one known as Kiyoshi said nonchalantly. This enraged Sesshoumaru. That insignificant demon actually thought that he could take his lands from him?

"That will not be happening, Kiyoshi." Sneered Sesshoumaru. "You know very well of my strength. You do not stand a chance at defeating me so you should leave with your life while you can." Of course, Sesshoumaru had to provide the warning, it was only fitting. However, he would soon dispose of this traitor whether he ran or not.

"My, my, who is this delectable creature?" Kiyoshi said, deliberately ignoring Sesshoumaru's threat. He licked his lips and directed his eyes towards Rin. She gasped at this, and Sesshoumaru glared at him. 'Just what does he think he is doing?' wondered Sesshoumaru.

"How wonderful it would be to deflower this beauty." Kiyoshi said, his voice laced with lust. Rin wanted to run away. This demon was really scaring her. 'I hope that milord makes quick work of him', she thought.

Sesshoumaru couldn't believe his ears. He briefly wondered if Kiyoshi had some sort of death wish.

Kiyoshi started to make his way toward Rin. She backed up into a tree, looking extremely uncomfortable and obviously trying to avoid Kiyoshi's eyes.

Sesshoumaru gave a low warning growl, and Kiyoshi fixed his now amused gaze back at Sesshoumaru.

"So, now you see your weakness. I now know the stories to be true. The great Lord of the West falling pray to something as weak as a mortal woman. How amusing," he said, as he slowly approached Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru did not reply to this as he drew his sword and approached the other lord, now determined to send him to hell.

"How amusing indeed," Kiyoshi continued as he too drew his sword. "Just like your father, aren't you?"

Sesshoumaru took a swipe at him, and he barely dodged, but just laughed and continued to rant on.

"You are a weakling, just like your father. You care for this mortal woman," he said, motioning toward Rin, "and she will be the death of you. You will suffer the same fate as your father. You should not be ruling the Western Lands with such a weakness", he sneered. Kiyoshi stabbed his sword at Sesshoumaru's chest, but he easily jumped out of the way. Sesshoumaru would have loved to ignore his statements, but he had to wonder if he was right. He glanced briefly at the young woman who had melted a part of his heart and cost him his respect from the other lords. Soon little words were spoken as booth demon Lords clashed swords in an all out heated battle. Sesshoumaru seemed to have the obvious advantage, when Kiyoshi suddenly appeared behind Rin and grabbed her by her neck. Sesshoumaru's heart jumped, but he refused to show it.

Rin, not expecting to become involved in this battle, was horrified at the sudden painful contact. She tried to scream for Sesshoumaru but all that came out was a pathetic whimper. Kiyoshi smirked and tightened his grip on her neck. Sesshoumaru looked over, struggling to maintain his calm exterior.

"This creature", said Kiyoshi, "is nothing more than a nuisance. How easily I could ravage he sweet young body and then kill her." He slowly grazed his fangs across her neck. she shivered. She was so afraid; she could only hope that her lord would save her soon. Her heart was pounding and her breathing harsh. Her blood ran cold, however, when he slowly lifted her off the ground in front of him and said, "Lord Sesshoumaru, if you want to kill me and defend your title, you must go through the girl."

On the surface Sesshoumaru was as calm as can be, but inside he was raging war. One part of him said to just kill the girl and keep his pride and lands. However, another part of him wanted the girl alive for reasons he couldn't really understand. Then he began to wonder why it was so hard for him to decide. Why should he keep her alive? 'I truly am weak', he thought, after his heart constricted at the thought of just running her soft flesh through with his sword. This girl had indeed softened him, and it was starting to anger him. He then made a firm decision that he did not care and he would not be weakened by her anymore.

Apparently, he had taken too long to decide, because Kiyoshi, with a bored expression, suddenly threw Rin toward a tree at bone shattering speed. Sesshoumaru was quick to react and caught her before she hit anything. 'Why did I just do that if I don't care anymore', Sesshoumaru thought angrily. Kiyoshi took that time to stab Sesshoumaru in his side. Sesshoumaru let out a painful grunt as he fell to the ground with Rin in tow. He turned to the side to take the brunt of the fall, and then struggled to get back up to fight his opponent once again. 'Damn it!' he thought, immediately feeling the pain his error had cost him.

Kiyoshi, however, watching this entire incident with amusement, simply laughed at the other demon lord, and made no movement to attack him in his weakened state.

"You are just like your father, Sesshoumaru, weak. You are not worth fighting." With that statement, Kiyoshi turned his back on the enraged demon lord and walked away, chuckling to himself no doubt at Sesshoumaru's expense.

Sesshoumaru wanted nothing more than to get up from where he was laying and rip the otherdemon lord's head off. However, the only thing he managed to do was get up and painfully walk a few yards before he realized that he would not be able to find Kiyoshi.

Suddenly, Rin cried, "No milord! Do not go you are injured."

Sesshoumaru, suddenly loosing all of his self control, slowly turned around and began to walk toward her, eyes bleeding red. He had been humiliated because of that wench. He made a sudden decision. He would do what he wanted, and she would not interfere, ever again.

Rin watched him come to her, and was relieved until she saw his eye color and expression. 'Oh no', she thought, as she wished nothing more than to be miles away from the area. Suddenly, she found her self pinned up against a tree, body flush with his. Rin gasped, feeling the harsh bark

scratching into her skin and his sharp claws digging into her arm. She was beyond afraid.

Sesshoumaru noticed horrified expression on Rin's face and it triggered an emotion he could not understand. He ignored the feeling and glared at the female in his grasp.

"How dare you attempt to command me, you pathetic human," he said, venom dripping off of every word. Rin flinched at the harshness of his tone and wondered why he was being so cruel.

"You are ignorant, weak, and human. No, you are worse. You are a human woman. You are worthless. You mean nothing to me." Rin was feeling the stinging sensation in her eyes and knew she would cry. Before the tears could come though, Sesshoumaru suddenly dropped her and she hit the ground hard. He cast one final glance at her, full of disgust, and turned his back. He began to walk away and said, "If you value your life, girl, you will not follow me." Jaken and AhUn gave small, sympathetic looks toward Rin before following their master.

Jaken, having watched the whole scene, could not believe what he saw. He had to admit the girl had indeed grown on him, and he hated to see her treated so poorly. He vaguely wondered what had caused such an outburst from his lord. Jaken sighed. He knew better than to ask his lord about it. It would surely be the death of him. He sighed again, hoping the girl would be alright.

Rin looked on, not being able to take in what was happening to her. She had never even considered the possibility of being abandoned, partly because it was her worst nightmare.

'Why?' Rin kept repeating that same question in her mind over and over again as she watched the receding figure of her lord. 'What have I done?' A harsh wind tugged at her hair, as dark clouds formed in the skies above. The rain fell hard, mixing with the tearsthat now streameddown her face. Once her painful sobbs turned into pitiful wimpers, the cold reality of what this actually meant hit her hard. "I'm alone again", she whispered. 'Just like when my parents died', she thought. "Alone", she said again, land listenedas the sound of her own voice faded into nothingness.

Author's Note: Don't be upset with Sesshoumaru's treatment of Rin. There is a reason for it and you will find out in the next chapter. Also keep in mind that this event was necessary to toughen Rin up, so to speak, and when she comes back to Sesshoumaru later, she will be a very different person. Finally, Rin, if you couldn't figure out the clues, is currently 14. She will be about 18 when she meets Sesshoumaru later in the story. Don't worry about their relationship; it will happen just be patient. Anyways, I hope you are enjoying the story so far.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

Author's Note: Thank you to those of you who reviewed. I'm glad you like the story so far. I will try to update as much as I can. Again, I appreciated the reviews, but I would like to have more after this chapter. Thank you. On with the show.

Chapter 2

Jaken and even AhUn were glaring at him. Sesshoumaru could have felt their eyes burning through the back of his head from miles away. It had been several days since he had abandoned Rin, and they were still at it. He chose to ignore it. 'They are beneath me', he thought. 'It is none of their business what I choose to do and why I do it'. Satisfied with his self assurance, Sesshoumaru continued walking. He tried to think of something to keep his mind occupied, anything, just not Rin. He had tried to not think of her, but with his companions glaring at him so, he found it hard not to feel just a little guilty. He was beginning to become very angry with his annoying companions who decided to make it impossible for him not think of the girl. In a sudden impulse, he stopped in his tracks, whipped around to face them, and gave a low warning growl. They, however, did not seem to get the message, although Jaken did lose his face temporarily at hearing his lord's threatening gesture.

"You will both discontinue glaring at me as though I am Naraku unless you wish to experience more pain than your weak bodies can handle", said Sesshoumaru in a disturbingly calm voice. Jaken soon became frightened but then got a mental image of Rin being ripped apart by random demons in the woods and just as quickly became angry again. Jaken was going to do it. 'For Rin', he triumphantly thought. He was going to confront his lord and master, Sesshoumaru. 'And AhUn will be there to back me up', he thought, briefly glancing back at the Dragon.

Jaken took a deep breath "Y-you had n-no right", be shakily began, gathering courage as he spoke, "to abandon Rin." Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. He could not believe his ears. Jaken, his loyal retainer for centuries, was opposing him, Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands, all because of that insignificant human girl.

Jaken cautiously watched his Lord's face twist into obvious disbelief, then anger. He looked behind him for backup from AhUn, but instead found that the cowardly dragon had flown to a nearby field to graze, leaving him, Jaken, all alone. He formed a sweat drop on the back of his head (anime style), and wondered how long he would last now. He was about to get on all his toady fours and beg his lord for forgiveness, but something stirred inside his heart and he knew he would never be at peace until he at least did this on the girl's behalf. Jaken would not back down. He gulped, 'Rin is worth it', he thought determinedly.

"Milord, you were in the wrong to abandon the girl. You cared enough of her to revive her from the dead, and she followed you, obeyed you, admired you, trusted you, and loved you unconditionally in a way you never deserved." Jaken said, using all his will power not to just run away. Sesshoumaru wanted nothing more than to rip the defiant toad's tongue out and shove it so far up his posterior that he could digest it and dispose of it in his own natural way. However, his mind was defying him, and caused him to listen to the toad's rambling without interruption. For some reason, a part of him actually cared what Jaken thought concerning this matter, possibly because his mind had been raging war on whether or not he was right to abandon the girl. He listened as the toad continued his rant.

"I wish to know why you would do such a thing, milord. You allowed your anger take control and now the girl is paying the price. Perhaps Lord Kiyoshi was correct in saying that you are not fit to rule the Western lands. Perhaps…"

"Enough!" Sesshoumaru roared. He would not just stand around and allow himself to be told that he was not fit to be lord, especially by Jaken. The toad would pay for his mouth. He picked up the toad, and was fully intent on smashing him into a nearby rock, but what Jaken said next stopped him.

"You have again lost control, just as you had with Rin. I do not regret what I said, and I will not take it back. I do this in Rin's honor, and I hope that with my death you will at least consider your treatment of the girl," Jaken choked out through shallow breaths. Sesshoumaru dropped the toad, and walked forward, crushing the toad beneath his boots. He would not explain his actions to the toad, nor would he waste his time to kill the thing. He would simply pretend he didn't exist, and that his little show of defiance didn't happen.

But still, had he really just lost control in the spur of the moment and made an irrational decision? No. He had been thinking the matter over in the past few days, reluctantly, and had come to the conclusion that although he had indeed done what he had done in anger, there was still good reason to leave the girl.

She had been the target of too many of his enemies. It was indeed a dangerous thing to have her around. It was her own safety that was at stake, not to mention that her presence gave his enemies an obvious advantage over him in battle, Kiyoshi proving that theory. Also, the girl had grown up. She would soon be marrying age, and he would have not been able to give her what she would have wanted. He knew he would have only ended up hurting her, for he could never lower himself to claim the girl as his mate. He probably would have just given into his basic instincts one night, and then leave her expecting a commitment that he would not have provided. He sighed. Yes, the girl would have been even more hurt had he not abandoned her when he did. Now, he had given her a chance to move on with her life.

She would live in a village, and probably mate some human male who would provide her with a family of her own. Rin always seemed to enjoy children, and he believed that she would make a good mother. However, the thought of those grimy village men touching Rin still made him angry. What if they took advantage of her? He stopped himself before he could continue his meaningless rant in his mind. He would not worry about the girl any longer. He had no say in who would lay their hands on her soft silky skin. No say in who would kiss her cherry red lips. He really needed to stop thinking of her like this. He was beginning to become aroused at his own hentai thoughts and angry at the same time imagining another male having her. This was exactly why he could not have the girl with him anymore, he reminded himself. And since he had abandoned her in such a traumatic way, she would be sure to hate him, not try to find him again, and most importantly, not miss him.

However, that still did not keep him from missing her. He mentally scolded himself. He had no reason to miss the girl, her cheerful presence that brightened his every day, her beautiful smile that made him feel good no matter how he previously felt, her…'Stop!' he thought to himself desperately. He had to stop this. He was suddenly beginning to wonder if there was indeed another reason that he had gotten rid of the girl. The thought came before he could stop it. 'Perhaps I am just afraid of becoming like my father' Sesshoumaru had had enough thinking for the day. He shook his last thought off before continuing in his travels, Jaken and AhUn wearily following behind him, all three of them wondering how Rin had faired.

The emptiness in her heart was unbearable. Rin had cried until she felt she couldn't possibly shed another tear in her entire lifetime again. Her eyes red and puffy, she painfully stood up, examining herself. She could see dried blood caked on her arms where Sesshoumaru had grabbed her, and from the feel of things she also had several bruises on her back from where he had pinned her against a tree. Just thinking of him made her heart constrict painfully, but she shook it off. Now was not the time to be thinking of him, she realized, after a rather large bolt of lightening struck a tree not too far from the clearing she stood in. She realized that she needed to get to shelter, and figured she would try to reach the village she had recently visited before any harm could be done to her person.

As she began walking, she couldn't help but think of how horrible the situation was. 'How could milord leave me like this?' she thought. She had never disobeyed him, or upset him, or really did anything to warrant his anger. She could not understand what had gone wrong. She briefly reflected upon her relationship with Sesshoumaru. All the years they had been together, she had been basically ignored by him, but did her best to try to make him happy. She began to get angry thinking of how had always dismissed her as though she had been a lowly nothing not worth his time. Perhaps she should be glad he had abandoned her. She did not need him, and she would prove it right there and then. She would find shelter, and move on with her life. If only she could get out of these dark, menacing woods, she thought. She gulped, but then heard his words in her head, 'You are ignorant, weak, and human.' She suddenly became extremely angry, all sorrow forgotten, and in her reckless state, she ran in the woods like a madwoman, not caring about anything at the moment, not even the impending branches that were scratching her skin everywhere she turned.

"I hate him!" She screamed, as she ran as fast as she could, not knowing where to, just running. "I wish I never knew him!" She yelled again into the dark sky. After running several minutes, her body finally collapsed by a large oak tree, and she panted in desperation, then, although she thought it impossible, she began to cry yet again. "I hate him", she said again, all the fire torn from her voice as quickly as it had come. "I hate him", she whispered.

Suddenly, Rin heard a noise in the bushes to her left. She gasped, and stood back up, eyes darting around in the dark frantically trying to find the source of the noise. Her heart was pounding out of control in her chest, and her breathing became ragged.

She heard noise again, except this time it seemed to be surrounding her. Her blood ran cold when she heard the loud, earsplitting howl, and the menacing growls that followed. She was literally paralyzed with fear, and began to think how perfectly ironic it was that she should be abandoned by her lord, and then killed by the same creatures that he had revived her from all those years ago. 'Except this time,' she thought, 'he won't be there to bring me back.'

She saw the wolf jump on her, saw his sharp teeth glisten in the moonlight, felt the teeth sink into her leg, felt the searing, unbearable pain that followed. She saw the other wolves approach, shut her eyes, and tried to prepare for what would follow.

She felt a splattering on her face, and heard the wolves yelp in pain, before hitting the ground in sickening thuds. She cautiously opened her eyes and looked around her to find that there were daggers placed into the hearts of the now dead wolves. She looked up, and found a figure enshrouded in shadows, before her world went black.


End file.
